This word has been floating around lately....A LOT. It seems that if you aren't on the band wagon of that person's personality, life style, religious belief, relational status, or fashion then you are a hater. Please allow me to separate what a real hater is from someone who refuses to jump on your band wagon.
A hater will never rejoice in anything good about your life. A hater's jealousy is a driving force within in their life. When a hater looks at the hated one they can't help but see what they want, what they wish they had, who they wish they could be. We think that a hater is one that is loud and broadcasting their hateration publicly. Not necessarily true. Your biggest hater could be your best friend.....even your family. People tend to think that haters are those people on the outside looking in. They're not necessarily haters, they're just judgemental, uninformed, stereotyping, clueless individuals. A hater has to know what you got going for you, what you're working with, in order to have something to be envious of. Envy and jealous are similar...except for the motives behind it. Jealousy is a feeling. We tend to see that really cute Coach purse and wish it was on our arm, that car is just simply divine and wish it were you driving it. Envy is the actions following jealousy. Envy is jealousy out of control. If jealousy isn't put into place envy will take over. Envy will cause you to go after what your jealous of. Why do single woman flock to married or taken men? Men, have you ever noticed how woman will come out of the wood works when you're in a relationship? They want what they don't have, so all those dirty calls, text messages, "What does your girl have that I don't have", is envy whirling it's ugly head. It is trying to get what it doesn't have.
To me, a true hater is almost like a double agent. They're on the inside so they can know all the juicy details of your life and they will either a) try to mimic it, b) try to steal it, or c) try to destroy it. That hater will find themselves trying to keep up with you in life. You get a new car, they try and get a new car. You move into a nicer neighborhood, they're breaking their back to afford a higher mortgage or rent payment to look just like you. I am not talking about posers, I am talking about a person that can't stand to see someone close to them doing better than them. They hate to see you excel. They hate to see you happy. They hate to see you living your dreams because they are not excelling, happy, or living their dreams.
So what's the difference from someone who isn't all up in your cheering section and a hater? Easy. It all comes down to truth. A hater won't tell you the truth because they want you to make a fool of yourself. They're not telling you the truth to destroy you but to help you. Sometimes the truth is going to go against what you feel but doesn't mean they're hating on you. They're just letting you know how stupid you look. If you are wearing a hair style that looks terrible...., well, then it looks terrible. There is nothing within in me that wants to wear that twisted up mess. I am not jealous, envious, or desiring that style. I am looking out for your well being and letting you know you look terrible. If you are trying to have a child and you can't even pay your light bill, me telling you to wait is not me hating. It is me reminding you that kids cost money and because they can't provide for themselves that leaves that job up to the parents...the ones who can't even pay their light bill.
People are so quick to throw out the title HATER to everyone and anyone who isn't looking at them and celebrating their life with them. Maybe they are not meant to be in your cheering section. They have an opinion and that's about it. Now if they start trying to chase after what you got, or destroy it, then they may be a hater. If they are continuously speaking negative over you and your situations then yes, they are a hater. Just because they don't agree with you doesn't make them a hater. It makes them a person with the free will to think you look like an idiot...when you really do. You should be thankful for those people who will tell you that you look stupid. You should be thankful for those people who are being honest with you even though it hurts. You should be thankful for those people whom aren't just hyping you up for failure or embarrassment.
Haters want to be in your inner circle so they can get all the information they can about you, smile in your face, and then go behind your back to discredit your household. Strangers aren't the ones you have to worry about hating on you. The people closest to you are the ones to watch. They hate to see you shed a few extra pounds when they're overweight. They hate to see you get a promotion because they can't hold down a job. Of course they don't want to see you happy in a relationship when they're miserably single/married. Who cares if someone who doesn't know you can't appreciate the good things in your life? Does it even matter? Those people who are closest to you that look at you funny, always making snide remarks, or always questioning where you are in life, are the ones to look out for. They are the real haters (not just someone with an opinion of you) that would be the first ones to stab you in the back.
