Do you have a return?

Leave it to God to stick me in retail to teach me how much I am NOT a people person. "But Dana you're so friendly and fun".....when I've had coffee. Ok, yes I am friendly. I enjoy my FRIENDS. I enjoy the company of people I actually KNOW. People I don't know...different story. I came up with this saying years ago to describe me, "For an extrovert, I'm really introverted". This is me. When it comes to people I don't know I have no clue what to say. I suck at conversation starters. I am that person that will discuss the weather because I have nothing else to say. The crazy thing is I am great with strangers........ STRANGER DANGER!!!........sorry..ADD moment. I am so great with my customers at work. I will talk and talk with them about absolutely nothing. IF I have had my coffee I actually don't mind it. However, on days like today...I just really could care less what they have to say. Mean right? I don't even want to ask how they are doing because if they respond with "JUST LOOKING" (which is not an answer to the question I asked) I may start pegging shoes at them until they run away. Mean right? I'm such a meany.

Today I had to make a return....ugh it was tough to return too. I had gotten 2 pairs of really cute pants from Lane Bryant that fit me PERFECTLY! However, a sure sign of maturity is choosing my family's well being over pants that make my assests look lovely. So I took them back today. I get to the register and there is a lady in front of me ordering something online. The blessed lady working the register looks at me with my bag and ask if I have a exchange. I tell her I have a return. She ask if I want to look around for anything else and I tell her no thank you. So she goes back to helping the lady in front of me. She then comes from behind the cash wrap, looks at me again and ask if I have an exchange...Now I'm confused. I could have sworn I just told her less than 4 seconds ago that I had a return. I tell her again, no ma'am I have a return. She then proceeds to yell at her co-worker (who just so happens to be at the front of the store) "COME DO THIS RETURN"....gee thanks for calling me out. So this woman comes up and doesn't say hello, how are you, i hate your guts for screwing up our numbers with your return. She ask if I have a receipt proceeds with the return with an attitude. Here I am trying to be responsible and do the right thing and this lady is giving me an attitude because it's not benefiting her. I leave the store feeling like I NEVER want to shop here again because of how I was treated.

How many times do we treat those who aren't so nicely polished according to our Christian standards? They come into our churches looking all kinds of things (trashy, skanky, dirty, poor, etc) and instead of assisting them we treat them with disdain. Who knows the reason why the unsaved come to church but should that be any of our concern? Our job is to love them, make them feel welcomed into the kingdom of God and roll out the red carpet because they are loved by our heavenly father. If God says they are loved..then whom am I to agrue with that. Why shun them? Why look at them rather than talk to them? Why expect the hospitality team to great them? Why leave their eternity in the hands of someone else when God placed them on your heart? They are in the perfect place to return their hurt, pain, addictions, worries, fears, bad habits, sin, and exchange if for God's peace, love, salvation. We may think they don't care but our attitudes will speak volumes louder than our words.

I felt sooo convicted. I know when someone walks into my store carrying a Nine West bag or box I already know they have a return and start to build up my attitude because they are hurting my numbers for the day. I had the sweetest lady come in today who has Parkinson's Disease. She couldn't stop her head from shaking. She bought a pair of shoes, worn them but they hurt her feet...my intial reaction "OH WELL". Good thing my store manager is more forgiving. She already approved for this lady to exchange her worn shoes. After helping her for about 20 minutes God started giving me a spiritual whooping. This woman was extremely sweet and wasn't trying to be dishonest. She was having her second back surgery shortly and needed comfortable shoes to wear.

I told my store manger before I left that I have a new vow....No more attitudes with returns. I'm adopting this in every area of my life. When I run across someone who may not have anything that will benefit me, instead of building up a wall, I'm going to extend my arms and love and serve them however they may need it. I definitely got a good glimpse of how my customers may feel when I have an attitude about their returns..... :( not pretty. Sigh...maybe one day I'll get this whole thing together :)

Product of Grace

I don't do well with pre-judgements on myself. If I feel someone putting me on a pedestal I will quickly jump off and destroy it. If I feel someone putting me into a stereotype I will do something to make them think again. If I feel someone placing unrealistic expectations on me I will do the complete opposite of what they expect to prove a point. What's my point? I am not who you think I am. I am a man.

Kidding. Seriously though. I am not perfect. I don't do the right thing all the time. I have the weirdest sense of humor and can be very mean at times. I have a huge lack of patience. I can be lazy.....a lot. I am not organized. I am always late, for everything! I say the wrong thing all the time and make up words that make absolutely no sense. I don't have this squeaky clean and perfect past. What I am today is a product of grace.

My truest friends know me best. For that, I am so thankful. I can be very guarded and won't let people get so close me. The friends that God has placed in my life have seen me in every ugly, hurtful, and painful place I have experienced, and love me none the less.

God has been dealing a lot with me about friendships and relationships. God is transitioning my family and with that he's adjusting my relationships. A friendship I thought that was completely over has been brought back to life and better than ever. A friendship that came right on time. The prayers of this friend has helped keep me sane, challenged me to push deeper with God, and protect my family. The random moments with this friend has given me a safe place to let my short hair down and be me 100% uncensored. It's finally a friendship where iron is sharping iron. A friendship I am so thankful for.

My relationship with my amazing husband is absolutely beautiful. Ohhhh man if you could have seen what it was like for the first 6 years of it! I look at him everyday and thank God for what He has done for our marriage. We both work so hard to put each other before ourselves, to have a selfless love. When I am away from Tony all I think about is him and wanting him to just hold me. This amazing God-fearing man has such an awesome heart and testimony.

My life is no where near perfect. I have a God that makes me look so much better than I really am. He loves and cares so much for me, why should I waste my life on anything less then His best? I had to cut out unnecessary drama and stress. Have you ever realized how difficult it is to hear God's voice when you're stressing out over life? I've put my foot down and said no to stress. No to the silly games people want to play. No to stressing over things I can't change. Last week was just emotional overload. I had to say no to letting certain things bother me. The past 2 nights I have had such an amazing and peaceful evening with Gabby and Tony. It's funny how sometimes we let outside life inside of our home and destroy our peace. You better believe Saturday and Sunday were dedicated to praying peace back in my home and pleading the blood of Jesus over my family.

Sure I'd love my red cape and boots with matching super powers, but God's grace surpases all that any day.

"And I ask you how many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down? And each time I will fall short of your glory, how far will forgiveness abound? And you answer my child I love you, and as long as your seeking my face, you'll walk in the power of my daily sufficient grace"-Silar's Bald

Running after you

I wish I could be superwoman sometimes. You know, super powers and all. Since this is reality I'm left with a million things to be tended to and only one me. It's all so overwhelming. I wish I were organized enough to have my life together. Days like today I wish life were normal. M-F 8-5 boring job. Maybe then sanity would reside longer than 15 minutes. This week has just been reality over load for me. Looking at the home page of yahoo makes me want to bust out in tears and long for the return of Christ.

It's funny because lots of women look at me being young with a 4 years old and 4 years of marriage under my belt and wish they had this. I look at them and want to laugh. All of this is great but comes with a cost. Somethings will get ignored. The days I work (which feels like everyday) by time I get off all I want to do is rest. Gabby will not stay in her bed at night, waking up every 2-3 hours. I think she's going through seperation anxiety because I don't get a lot of time with her. This lack of sleep filters over into my work day. I'm tired all day. I get home and have to love on Gabby, love on Tony, while the laundry, dishes, and other house chores long for my attention as well. What's more important? House chores or family? I always choose family. Tony and I don't have a day off together so we attempt to squeeze in maybe an hour of alone time before attempting to sleep. Since my brain doesn't know when to shut off I'm left laying in bed for the next 3 hours hoping the travel channel will eventually put me to sleep. By time I start to doze here comes Gabby and the cycle starts again. I don't have 2 days off in a row. My days off are divided. As of today I will work 8 days straight before getting another day off. Best part is it's not overtime.

Overwhelmed at the moment is an understantment. How do I keep my peace? Barely and by the grace of God. I have my "Pure Abandoment" playlist playing reminding me of God's soverignty and goodness. Funny how no matter what life brings it always leaves me running back to God. When times are good I'm running to crawl in my heavenly father's lap to celebrate. When life is unbearable, I am running to his open arms to let his embrace ease away all the pain. When life becomes so overwhelming, I am running to his presence for strength.

So many people look at me and think I have it all together and I don't. What I do have is a God that walks with me every step of the way helping me, strengthing me, and cleansing me.